John Constantine: The Hellblazer
by TheBatmanWhoLaughs
Summary: I don't own any of these characters, all rights go to their own companies. A series with John Constantine as the main character as he goes around and causes trouble with well known characters from the DC Universe ranging from Swamp Thing to Dr. Fate all the way to Batman! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Your an asshole, John." John Constantine had heard that many times, and it was usually accompanied by a slap to the face. **SLAP!** Yep, that was expected. John Constantine had walked into a bar that was owned by everyone's favorite magician performer and his ex-girlfriend, Zatanna.

"You don't have to keep telling me that. I know."

"What are you here for?" She asked John, who told her.

"Justice League stuff. You wouldn't know…" He didn't mean to sound like an asshole, but it just sort of came off like that when confronting the woman who cheated on you with a demon. He wasn't actually in the pub for the 'Justice League' he was there for personal reasons.

"You're an asshole." Zatanna said once more, as if that hurt his feelings. It didn't. Constantine didn't have feelings, well he did. He just didn't want to show them.

"And you're not? I'll call crocodile dundee here if you want another spin with him around the racetrack…" He forgot to mention that the demon she cheated on him with was one that rode a crocodile.

Zatanna lifted a hand, and every single glass in the bar was suddenly up in the air and pointed at him. He kept still as it didn't phase him. It was just a threat, John knew that Zatanna could flip a finger and he could die instantly. This was just her being tough.

"Ladies." A man in a nice black suit, slicked back brown hair and an old english accent stepped out from of a curtain. This was the real man John came here to see.

"Blood, I need to talk." Constantine pushed past Zatanna and walked closer to him.

"I can see that." Jason Blood motoned for Constantine to follow him into a back room, and he did. After getting a killer stare from Zatanna as he turned back to close the door to the room, he sat down in a chair while Jason made him some tea.

"Why are you here, John?" Jason asked him while placing the kettle on the stove.

"I have some questions for you."

"How much trouble is this going to cause me?"

"Depends on how much you comply. If you don't answer I might need to ask our favorite demon friend."

"Damn you." Jason said sitting down across from Constantine. "What do you want to ask?"

"I need to know about Excalibur."

"What?" Jason let out a deep laugh. Constantine's face was straight, and he wasn't joking around. "The sword King Arthur used? That's a myth."

"No it's not."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because you were killed by it." John sat back in his chair as Jason stood up in anger and confusion.

"How do you know this? I've never told a soul."

"It's written in Merlin's books. Where is it?"

"Why do you want it?"

"I want to kill a demon."

"Why?"

"Because he is an asshole."

"Dammit, John." Jason stood up when the kettle was ready and poured tea for the both of them. "I buried it in the one place no one would find it. The one place where it would be protected by someone at all hours of the day. One ugly mug as well." Jason handed Constantine the tea, and he took a sip of it.

"You gave the bloody sword to Alec Holland? Jesus you really are insane." Jason shrugged and took a sip of his tea as well.

"I wouldn't go after it, John. He doesn't like to be bothered, especially not by people with the likes of you." Constantine downed his cup of steaming hot tea in one final big gulp, and he stood up.

"I'll act like I'm not offended by that. I'll also be leaving now. See you around, Etrigan."

"Don't do this. You will regret it." John opened the door and saw Zatanna sitting at a booth taking shots with a couple of other people.

"Regretting things is my superpower, Blood." Constantine walked right past Zatanna and out of the door. He was going to confront the Swamp Thing and ask for a magical sword to kill a demon. If his life wasn't weird already, it was now.


	2. Chapter 2

John Constantine stood at the edge of a pond smoking a cigarette. He took one final puff of it, and threw it on the ground next to him. He watched as it started to catch fire. Just then, he heard loud gubling come from the ground and shake the nearby trees. Constantine quickly mumbled a spell that set the fire out, but he was already on his way.

"You dare threaten the green?" The voice that came from the swamp echoed for miles. The voice was supposed to scare anyone and everyone that heard it, but Constantine didn't move. Instead he lit another cigarette and put it in his mouth as the monster emerged from the murky waters.

He was the biggest thing Constantine had ever seen. Almost ten feet tall and several feet wide, the monster that stood in front of him was ugly. He had some humanoid features on his face, but for the most part he was covered in vines and leaves and moss. His glowing red eyes stared down Constantine's soul.

"I need a sword." Constantine said to the monster.

"Leave… Now." He responded

"Why would I do that? I haven't gotten what I need yet."

"The only thing you will find here... is an early death."

"Well, Better not keep the devil waiting then, eh?" Constantine responded Swamp Thing's threats. Constantine started to remember a spell that could attack or defend with.

"You are… making a mistake."

"The only mistake being made here is you not giving me the bloody sword, Alec." Constantine shouldn't have said that, and he knew it. Swamp Thing made a vine erupt from the ground and smack Constantine in his side. He went flying across the grassy area and landed into a puddle of mudd. "I just bought this jacket last week." Constantine said when he saw that his whole back side was now covered in leaves and soil. Constantine stood back up and started chanting a spell.

" _Fluvius igneus_ " His hands lit on fire, but they didn't hurt him. This was one of his favorite spells, as it was basically a flamethrower, but with his two hands. Constantine aimed his two open hands at shot out the flames. It wasn't like pressing a button and having the flames come out, he just felt a feeling inside of him and he just did it. It was truly _magic._

The flames hit Swamp Thing's back directly. His whole backside caught on fire, and then his whole ten foot body. He turned around the face Constantine and stared at him. He was unmoving, and the only sound that was heard was the crackling flames of his body collapsing in on himself. He crumbled to the ground fairly quickly, as he was just a bunch of dried old wood, vines and other various plants.

Constantine knew he didn't kill him, there probably not even a proper way _to_ kill him. Alec Holland was intertwined with _The Green_. It was the force that created and destroyed every single living thing on earth. It was very much like the _Speed Force_ , which was another story by itself. The basic thing was that Swamp Thing could never cease to exist, unless The Green was gone. Which meant that as long as the earth was living, Swamp Thing would be living. Constantine stood in the middle of the swamp with two flaming hands and a muddy brown trench coat. He came sprang from behind him, and Constantine had just enough time to react.

" _Obstructionum!"_ A light blue forcefield went around Constantine as a large vine slammed into it. If he wasn't so quick to act, the vine would've split him right in half. Constantine turned to face Swamp Thing, and he could tell he was even more angry then before, if that was possible.

"You… are a fool, John Constantine. I can control every single little blade of grass in this swamp. No matter what you do… you will die." Just then, Swamp Thing made huge tree roots come out of the ground and wrap around Constantine. He struggled to try and get out, but it wasn't possible. He was trapped.

More pressure started to go around Constantine, and at one point he felt like he was going to pop like a pimple. Just when all hope seemed lost, Constantine saw the light. Not the light into heaven, but a blinding yellow light that swallowed him whole. The strains on Constantine's body released, and he could breathe again. He was thrust forward, and he hit a ground that seemed to be made of sandstone. Constantine stood up, and looked at the person who saved him. He wore his signature golden helmet, with a golden cape and a blue middle section.

"John Constantine." Dr. Fate said, His voice sounding pure but harsh at the same time. "You have a good friend who cares about you." Constantine looked up and saw exactly who he expected. He saw Jason Blood with a angry look on his face.

"What did I tell you, you bloody idiot?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Dr. Fate stood staring at Constantine under his golden helmet. Even though he couldn't see his facial expressions, he knew he was irritated at him for doing something so stupid.

"Honestly what the hell were you thinking, John?" Jason Blood said to him. He just shrugged and stood up from the ground.

"I was trying to get the sword."

"And your way of asking was trying to burn down Swamp Thing and anger him until he killed you?"

"I was working on something."

"Sure you were." Jason said with a heavy sigh. "You nearly died. And don't repeat this to anyone but I'm the one person in the world who doesn't think you are a complete assshole. Don't make me change my mind."

"Thank you for saving me, Blood." Constantine responded to Jason.

"Don't thank me," Jason replied "Thank Fate here for being a good person."

"It's not that I'm a good person. It's because John Constantine's fate hasn't been fulfilled yet." Dr. Fate said to Constantine while flipping through books.

"So you are saying I can't die?"

"I'm saying you have something you need to do before die. And that thing hasn't happened yet, and it might not happen for a long time. I'm not a maker of fate, I just can see it."

"Do you know what I have to do?"

"Why do you want to die, John Constantine?"

"I don't get what you are saying, Doctor." He responded to him. Dr. Fate put down the book he was reading and turned to face Constantine. He could feel the eyes under the golden helmet stare into him.

"You go looking for trouble with Swamp Thing, and then you wonder when you are able to die. What are you planning?"

"Nothing. I just want to know when my soul becomes a bidding war for demons again."

"I see." Dr. Fate said turning back around and picking up and book again. "I will tell you this though, Constantine, your fate involves that girl." Constantine was confused, until he looked over to where the entrance to the room he was in and saw the person he disliked the most in the magic community.

"You're a bloody idiot, John." Constantine sighed and stood up. Why did Zatanna have to be here?

"Lord Helmet and Blood here have been telling me the exact same thing, Love. I don't need you saying it again."

"I'm saying it because I don't think you understand it."

"Why are you even here?" Constantine asked her.

"Jason called me and told me what happened to you." Zatanna replied to him. "I wanted to see if you were alright."

"Woah slow down." Constantine said to Zatanna. "You came to see if _I_ was ok?" He asked.

"Shut up." Zatanna said to Constantine. He looked around the room and took in the sights. Dr. Fate, the mythical Kent Nelson. Jason Blood, the knight who was slain by the sword Constantine wanted so dearly, and also the demon named Etrigan. And who could forget his ex-girlfriend of course? Silence hung in the air while Dr. Fate kept flipping through books. Zatanna was staring at Constantine, and Jason spoke.

"John, I have something for you. Follow me." Constantine stood up and walked past Zatanna who had a sad look on her face, and followed Jason down a passageway lit with torches. He couldn't help think of what Dr. Fate had told him, ' _Your fate involves that girl.'_ Constantine didn't know how large the tower of fate was, just that it existed in another dimension and that it didn't follow any laws of physics. One minute Constantine was walking straight forward, and then the next he was upside down and walking diagonally. It was like a bad mc escher painting for sure. Finally, they reached a dimly lit room that was so small, the two of them could barely fit in it together. Jason touched the wall closest to him a bit, and he moved his hands so his palm was placed on a single sandstone brick. He pressed forward with his palm, and the brick moved forward and fell behind the wall of a thud. He reached his hand inside the secret compartment and pulled out something.

"I didn't give the bloody sword to Swamp Thing, mate." Jason said to Constantine. "I gave it to Doctor Fate." He unwrapped the cloth that covered the sword and gave it to Constantine. He looked at it, admiring it's fine edges and shiny steel.

"Why give this to me?" Was the only thing Constantine was able to say to Jason.

"I say, if you were willing to die for it. The demon you are going to kill might be a mean one. I trust you with this, John." He looked Constantine in the eyes and spoke again. "Return it when you are done, I don't want it hanging around where it shouldn't be."

"Thank you…" Constantine said to Jason.

"Once more, John." He replied walking to the exit of the small room, "Don't thank me." He exited the room, and then he saw her. Zatanna came into the room with her top hat off and her black hair down to her sides. She wore her regular outfit, fishnets with a black jacket and a black tuxedo.

"Hey… Can we talk?" She said to Constantine, who nodded. He was just about to do something really stupid, so why not do something even more stupider. The two of them were really close to each other and it was very awkward for the both of them. "I… I'm sorry."

"You should be." Constantine replied to her. She pressed her hand to her forehead and looked to the ground and sighed.

"I wasn't thinking, John. I was overcome with this urge to just do it you know? Afterwards I felt so bad and then you walked in and It just broke from there." Constantine looked at the sword in his sweating hand. Why did she have to do this now? "I didn't want there to be this rift in our life but it was all my fault and John I just-" Constantine two things that shouldn't really go together. He leaned close to Zatanna and kissed her, cutting the words from her mouth.

"Find me." Constantine said as he pulled away from the kiss. He held the sword in one hand, and he lifted it up and pointed it at his chest where his heart was. Zatanna screamed, but it was too late. Before she could utter a backwards word, the sword was already through Constantine's heart. He fell to the floor as he died instantly. Zatanna ran to where Jason was standing outside in the hallway, and he was just as surprised as Zatanna was. John Constantine had killed himself with the sword he had been literally _dying_ to get. It didn't make any sense. Dr. Fate heard the screams and the shouting, but he wasn't startled. He knew John Constantine was going to do that from the moment he stepped into the tower. It was after all, his fate.

John Constantine opened his eyes, and saw black all around him. He ripped the sword from his chest with a grunt, and held it in his right hand. It was easier than he expected, no one knew what he was planning on doing. Constantine had found out that the only way to reach the demon named 'Alastor' was to have died after fulfilling one's fate. You see, John Constantine had a bone to pick with him, and he wanted to see him face to face and tell him what he thought of him, but to do that, he needed to die.

He spent a good month learning how to control people's fates, and he eventually got to the point where he was able to do it to himself. He changed his fate so that it was him killing himself with Excalibur, and he knew who had that too, Dr. Fate. Constantine only knew one person who would get Kent Nelson to listen to him, Jason Blood. So he went to Jason's pub and asked him for the sword so he knew he was looking for it, and knowing Blood he would lie to him and give him some impossible target while keeping a lookout on John in case he did anything stupid. Constantine knew that Swamp Thing was going to kill him, he knew that from the very start. He knew that Blood would tell Kent to get Constantine out of there so he wouldn't die. Constantine just had to find the sword, which thankfully Jason did for him.

Constantine expected Zatanna to show up, and once the shock of your ex-boyfriend who you just started to forgive killing himself in front of your eyes wears off, she would remember what he said. _Find me._ One of Zatanna's powers she had was the ability to find souls that were dead, and she could actually communicate to them. Constantine knew a spell that made it able to be brought back to life whilst talking to a person with that ability. His whole plan was counting on that pretty black haired girl to find him in the depths of the void of death. He sure did love that girl, even if it seemed like he hated her.


	4. Chapter 4

Everything was a black void besides the poker table in front of Constantine. There were two chairs, one where Constantine was supposed to be seated, and the other where the demon was sitting. He was the ugliest thing in the entire universe. His head was almost five times as big as his body and a nose the size of a cucumber. Constantine knew instantly that this wasn't Alastor, this was someone even worse that. Someone Constantine had wished he would meet for a while now.

"John Constantine… Nice of you to come here" His voice was deep and raspy, like most demons. "How is the Zatara girl? I enjoyed my time with her…" just then, a crocodile came santering out from behind the poker table. The demon was Agares, the asshole Zatanna cheated on him with.

"Shut up Dundee, where is Alastor?" Constantine spoke. The demon laughed.

"Alastor? He isn't here right now. It's just you and me…" The demon motioned for Constantine to sit down in the chair, so he did. Just then, a ghostly figure appeared and delta the two of them five cards each. "The rules are clear. If I win, I get to keep your soul and torment you for all of eternity. If you win, I'll let you enter hell where you will be a free and wandering soul. Deal?" Constantine didn't have any other choice, so why not?

"Deal." Just after Constantine said that, a couple stacks of chips appeared in front of the two of them.

"Here is the catch, we bet in souls. It's the only true currency here." The demon smiled wide, and it looked like his fat face would split in half. Constantine knew what he was planning before he looked at his cards, and he decided that he would play back. The demon looked at his cards and crackled, he had no doubt gotten a great hand. Constantine looked at his cards and saw that he had a seven of spades and a two of clubs. He stared at his cards, and then came up with the craziest plan in the world. He scooted forward a chip that symbolized his own soul, and then placed the sword on the table. The demon looked surprised and raised a huge eyebrow.

"Okay…" The demon looked a little uneasy. No doubt he was thinking why Constantine had made such a huge bet if e had crap cards. That got him thinking that maybe he screwed up the deal and Constantine had gotten better cards than him. Poker was a mind game, and Constantine's main trick was that he could make people lose their mind. The demon slid forward a random soul of someone unimportant, and the round was over. The dealer handed out two more cards, and the demon looked at them. Constantine kept them down on the table and didn't even look at them.

He knew that they were bound to be utter crap, and he wanted to pull a fast one on the demon. Him not picking up the cards made it so the demon thought that Constantine was so sure of his hand he didn't care what he had gotten. Even if you are sure you will win, you still look at your cards.

"What? Why aren't you looking at them?" The demon asked Constantine who shrugged and then pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit a cigarette.

"You tell me, mate."

The demon sighed and tried to continue, but Constantine could tell that he was shaken by this bold approach and wasn't sure if it was a bluff or not. Surely, he wouldn't pull a bluff this big in the biggest game of his life, would he? Just as the demon bet another soul, blue mist formed from behind them. Constantine turned around and saw the three people he really wanted to have show up. Dr. Fate, Jason Blood and Zatanna.

"John! What are you doing! ARE YOU STUPID?" Zatanna yelled at him. Constantine shrugged once more and turned back to face the demon.

"I'll throw in all three of their souls." Constantine slid three chips as Zatanna and Jason both gasped loudly. Dr. Fate stayed quiet and didn't move at all.

"JOHN!" Jason yelled at Constantine, but he ignored it. John looked at the demon, and saw that he seemed to be sweating. No doubt in his mind he was going crazy. If Constantine was making these ridiculous beats this confidently, he must have the best cards in the game. But that is impossible, as he rigged the odds. But if he had bad cards, why would he make those bets?

"So, Dundee?" Constantine said sitting up in his chair. "You going to call?"

"CALL?" The demon yelled at Constantine. "I…" He didn't say anything, and he froze up. He couldn't say the words. "I FOLD!" The demon cracked, and he threw his cards down onto the table and let out a huge sigh. Zatanna and Jason both sighed as well, and they went running behind Constantine. He saw the demon look at Zatanna and smile widely.

"You look so pretty, Zatanna." Constantine stood up, grabbed the with one hand and with the other hand, flung his cards onto the table. The demon and the rest of the crowd say that Constantine had only a seven and a two, and they all yelled. Zatanna's face went red with anger at him for doing such a stupid thing, Jason nearly turned into Etrigan and ripped him in half, and Dr. Fate just stared at all of it.

"You are a # $%'ing idiot dundee, you know that?" Constantine told the demon.

"I am the idiot? If anyone is here it's Zatanna for falling into my trap. She really fell for my magic didn't you?"

"What do you mean?" Zatanna asked Crocodile Dundee.

"You didn't realize? I used magic to make you do those things with me! Your mind was so weak you couldn't resist it, even though you loved this fool so much!" He laughed loudly as Zatanna looked towards Constantine. He handed her the sword, and she pointed it at the demons his fat forehead.

"Laugh on this one, dundee." Zatanna said, promptly pressing forward. The sword went through his skull and went out the other side. Zatanna ripped the sword out of his head, and looked towards Dr. Fate. "Get us out of here, will you? We all have explaining to do."

LATER

" **So you bet all of our souls, and you weren't even sure if it would work?"** Jason asked Constantine who nodded.

"Pretty much…" He responded to Jason.

"Do you know what could've happened if you lost? You know how bad that would've been?"

"I know full well that we would've found a way out of it, like we always do." Constantine said to the group of people lounging in Dr. Fate's tower drinking whisky. Dr. Fate had pulled some out for the special occasion of cheating death and they were all drinking it.

"We?" Zatanna responded to Constantine, "Not just you? It's always been just you, no offence."

"None taken, love. I never have been very _friendly_ to other people, but now I'm going to start to work more with others. It just feels like the right thing to do."

"Well you sure as hell ain't working with me after that stunt you pulled." Jason responded to Constantine's comment. Dr. Fate stood up and raised his glass to everyone.

"To Constantine, whose fate has been changed from this moment onward." All of them toasted together, and took a sip of their glasses. Dr. Fate put his helmet back on, and went to go the library to check on some old books. Jason took his leave as well, and didn't stick around. He needed to hide the sword in a better place this time, one where Constantine couldn't find it.

"Are you still going to fo after that one demon you wanted to kill? What was his name?" Zatanna asked Constantine.

"No, I've caused enough trouble in the afterlife for now. Maybe later though." He replied to her.

"What's next for you then?"

"I don't know really…" Constantine said, pondering the question. "But wherever I go… I'm sure trouble will find me. It always seems to do that."

Hey guys! That's the end of the first arc, the next one I will be doing is Justice League Dark, so get ready for that. The chapter updates might not be coming out very fast, but they will be coming. I won't forget them. Thanks for reading!


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